Saturday, April 12, 2008

Return of the bluebelt

Sooooo .. updates.

Recife Rob is now London Rob .. which isn't quite as phonetically catchy .. but word has it he'll return to Brazil before the turn of the decade. Until that happens Rob is not able to provide us with the straight dope from Brazil. Instead he has committed himself to pharmaceutical self improvement, so if you have any questions about the finer points of MDMA abuse .. fire away. Hopefully we'll see Rob's return to wonderland correspondent status in the near future.

Anyhow, this awesome-bluebelt(tm) is now living in Miami, wasting most of late-2007 and early-2008 with half assed workouts and the occasional roll with random folk at a boxing gym.

Let me explain something about training jiu jitsu at boxing gyms. Boxing gyms are gyms where people .. you know .. box, and as such they are not very suited towards rolling around on the floor. It just doesn't work. Too many people, complete lack of training structure, and too little mat space.

Of course I'm an utterly lazy dunce and couldn't be bothered to find an actual jiu jitsu team. Over time I found myself rolling on a monthly basis .. if at all. On the bright side I did improve my striking a lot. Jihad bitch.

Fast forward to last week. Completely fed up with the slump and re-committed to making purple .. I signed up at a new gym with a very legit blackbelt heading the competition team. Say hello to the first serious jits training I've done in months.

Oh crap.

Soon after the warm up begins .. we're jogging around the mats and a slight sense of dread hits my stomach. Right. Grappling Cardio does not equal Stand Up Cardio. Fuck.

30 minutes later and I'm in all sorts of agony. Due to the very jits specific warm up incorporating lots of things I haven't physically done in months I feel like I'm about to puke. Excellent. Fuck it, do or die .. semper fi .. twinkie soup .. tweedledoo .. etc.

The main class format is familiar enough, technique drills and sparring. The new place follows the 'one in the middle, rotate in on tap' format. Before I can figure out what's really going on I find myself on the business end of a resident heavyweight's mount .. wondering how the fuck things went so wrong so quickly. Luckily the side choke that follows quickly puts me out of my misery.

By the time I hit the mat the 2nd time the blackbelt has rotated in .. now this guy is a world class competitor .. at 220lbs the dude moves like marcelo garcia. Scary .. but also reassuring .. this guy has a lot to teach .. and he does it well.

Over the course of the next hour I find my jiu jitsu is pretty much where I left it. Sloppier but still effective against people of similar experience levels. Then, with about 20 minutes to go, the inevitable cardio crash happens .. at which point I turn into the grappling equivalent of Stephen Hawkings.

Imagine a wet rag competing at the Mundials .. now imagine this wet rag is too stubborn to quit .. and you'll get a pretty good idea of the horrors that unfolded next.

So .. focus points on the road to recovery:

A) mat cardio .. more mat cardio .. and some more mat cardio
B) drill drill drill drill
C) train .. a lot
D) consider putting on the gi again .. to get more mat time

And so it begins. Again.

Friday, January 11, 2008


Due to technical difficulties the Jiu Jitsu Wonderland has been inactive for a while .. by technical difficulties I mean I was too shitfaced to remember my login for several months.


As both me and Recife Rob are currently experiencing the much feared 'bluebelt for life' slump; where we drink a lot and don't train at all .. but critique people anyways on account of them being 'n00bs' .. we will focus the Wonderland towards being THE resource for recovering bluebelts.

Yes, give us your fat, give us your bored, give us your 'jesus-christ-I'm-never-making-purple-am-I'.


Bas and Rob